George HW Bush

After heroic service in World War II, George HW Bush (aka Poppy) earned an economics degree from Yale University in 1948. During his college years Bush also became a member of the secretive Skull and Bones society (seen above to the left of the spooky clock) and captained the school's baseball team. After becoming a successful oil company entrepreneur, Bush turned his attention to politics and proceeded to rack up an impressive resume in government including stints as a congressman, Ambassador to the United Nations, Chairman of the Republican National Committee (where he met two young go-getters named Karl Rove and Lee Atwater), Envoy to China and Director of the CIA.

In 1980 Bush ran for the presidency but wound up becoming Ronald Reagan's running mate and vice president for two terms. In 1988 Bush, aided and abetted by his devious young political strategist, Lee Atwater, buried the hapless Michael Dukakis and finally became president (Bush's campaign was so sleazy and Dukakis's so inept that the disastrous selection of Dan Quayle as the GOP vice presidential nominee didn't even matter). But by the time the 1992 re-election season rolled around, the Desert Storm-winning commander-in-chief lacked the inspiration to go negative (Atwater had died the previous year) and he was defeated by a randy, draft dodging governor from Arkansas. Bush did, however, call Al Gore "Ozone Man" in the frantic last days of the campaign.

Much to Poppy's surprise his wastrel eldest son George W. ("Junior") beat his more serious boy, Jeb (the less said about Marvin and Neal Bush the better), to the White House in 2000 and immediately began ruining the family name. To add insult to injury, the younger Bush did not even consult his dad on the decision to invade Iraq ("There is a higher Father I appeal to..." he famously told journalist Bob Woodward for the 2004 book Plan of Attack).

While George HW Bush patiently waits for Jeb to continue the family dynasty in high office, he likes to spend his time jumping out of airplanes and hanging out with his unlikely friend, fellow ex-president Bill Clinton.